The UK Is Sinking Because...

(Blog first wrote 29th Ocotber 2007)

Fatties and immigrants apparently! What a laughable thought!

But, however, this is the reason! According to the Sunday Sport, which I wouldn't have noticed on the kitchen table but for the apparent lack of anything else whilst eating my full English! But less of that, I didn't buy it, it was just there! I digress...

It reads;

Britain will soon be under three hundred feet of water. Expanding waistlines and rocketing immigration means the country is struggling to cope with the increased weight.
Experts say the combination will leave much of the country flooded by 2031.

So there it is! Immigrants and fat people are making us sink. This, forgetting the fact that we do not live on a giant version of Fred the Weatherman's map! We're attached to a fucking large mountain scape under the water! But wait, there's more!...

"Top geologist" Dr John Archer said the impact the country's population and weight crises were having on the land was heading towards disaster.
He said, "What is happening to the UK is devastating."

A swift interruption for a moment, as you may want to go the toilet before you read this next bit. As you will either piss yourself laughing or actually do a poo from disbelief that a "Top Geologist" could make a comment like this...

"If you thought the tsunami in South East Asia was bad, wait until Britain goes under. It's going to make that look like a wave machine."

That was nail in the head time for me. He goes on to say that immigration in our country is like stepping onto a life boat that's already full!

So a silly article is highlighted with captions surrounding it, to give it more emphasis! The title is Littler Britain for fuck's sake! And a computer enhanced image of the Newcastle Tyne Bridge submerged is accompanied by 'The bridge isn't so wae high man' That makes for some intellectual reading!

My view on all of this stems from the fact that water levels are apparently rising anyway due to Global Warming. And this wasn't mentioned anywhere in this article! But don't get me started on the Global Warming debacle....

What I gather is that John Archer got his Doctorate in the post, possibly from an Internet site where you pay for honours! And the fact that he chooses the Sunday Sport as a medium to get his idea across to the people! And who buys the Sunday Sport! Drunk people my friend! And idiots! I mean, it's only selling point is breasts for fuck's sake! Buy a porno mag! They've got better writers! And much better pictures for those of you who are illiterate! Which gets me back to the Sunday Sport readers....