Whatever Happened To Teletext?

(Blog first wrote on 10th April 2008)

After waking up in a relatively pissed state on a mate's wooden floor on Wednesday morning, (Champions League Quarter Final of course, do you even know me?) we quenched our thirst for a much needed cup of coffee, and then found another thirst that needed quenching! Info about the match lastnight! Now me, being the modern day man that I am, thought initially of the internet or Sky Sports News downstairs! And so would many! But my accomplace scoffed at that, instead offering me an alternative that I haven’t heard of in many many moons! Teletext!

Now some of my younger readers may only have heard of Teletext on Peter Kay (which I watched lastnight coincidentally!) with it’s wonderous offers of cheap holidays, and so forth! Think of Lastminute.com in the 90’s!

So we puts it on, and my mate scurries through the various pages of pixelated fun! It was like the internet on a Super Nintendo! Only a little more basic! And sure enough, we catch a glimpse of Wenger moaning about penalty decisions and how over the two legs we were the worse team! And I don’t really understand French, as I speak the language of the winner! (Which is Scouse anyway!)

But these little snippets got me wondering! Who writes for the Teletext pages? Is that where Journo’s start? Writing for a meaningless medium of media (try saying that after a few pints!) I mean, it’s like sending smoke signals instead of a video call!

The new digital teletext is shit hot, and only because you can still watch Match of The Day while it’s on! The old one used to cut out all the black background and just leave pixels everywhere, which was probably banned as I remember my eyes bleeding as a result of it once!

Funny enough, after getting our fix of lovely lovely pixel success, we put the Playstation 3 on! It was like fucking Back To The Future! I swear I was strapped into a Delorean and hit 88! Which would have been a bit warmer than sitting in my undies, hungover, drinking coffee!